Saturday, January 24, 2009

Preparing for Every Needful Thing


Growing up in Arizona I learned about food storage from our Mormon neighbors. I know all about the three month supply and stashing food all over the house for long term storage. Who doesn't need a 10lb bag of sugar behind their couch or jars of marinara sauce and baked beans in their bedroom closets?

I humbly submit what is really going to matter in the case of a bird flu epidemic, etc. when I am quarantined and trapped inside my house with my family 24/7 eating Hormel chili for the 10th time in one week and sprouting broccoli seeds: alcohol.

By lack of consumption at my husband's 40th birthday party we are now well prepared to take on whatever "sh*t hits the fan" scenario with plenty of garlic stuffed olives to spare. This shelving unit which most Mormons would stock with food in our house is stocked with alcohol. It is a little bonus that will make life tolerable and tide us over after all the play dough has dried out and we attempt to entertain the kids with a third of a deck of High School Musical UNO cards.

We also have two refrigerators for various beverages that are usually stocked and bar which has my husband's cognacs and Scotches-one of which smells like something that came out of the sewer. How Laphroiag sells and why he drinks something that smells that bad, I'll never know, but I digress.

I'm just hoping the electricity stays on so the ice machine works. Oh and I better plant a lemon and lime tree so I can have my cocktail with a twist. I'm going to need it as I figure out how to grind and use the 50 lbs of wheat that is stashed in the guest closet.

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